not a loss

This morning

bathed in the light of this new day

with its sparkling, glittering, quiet newness

it comes to me that Matt’s death is not a loss

            but a difference.

I feel him so strongly

his spirit shining more brightly each day

as he grows into his new existence

            learning to breathe the light

            travel with the wind

            sing each bird song

            greet me in each flower

and surprise me over and over with brilliance.

We haven’t lost him . . . we must simply learn a new way to be together

And once we do that, this will be so much easier

            less tangled

            less fractured

            less anxious

            less dependent upon the physical and the temporal

My tears change

            sometimes they don’t come from sadness

            but from the joy of Truth.