the journey is our story

There is no destination, no resting place to reach, no final answer. There is simply the journey we take and the story we live with our feet, with our heart.  We may stop along the way to rest  - not because we have arrived, but to take this part in a little more deeply.  We may pause to listen or savor a threshold, but the journey is our story, The Story.  Each obstacle we overcome, each companion treasured, each grief suffered is a sacred moment along the way. 

Sometimes Grace enables us to sing our story . . . rhythm, harmony and lyrics all melt into one movement and we simply float on the melody of What Is, touching the Beauty as we go.

Sometimes there is an indescribable moment when, unexpectedly, harmonies touch a nerve in the heart with such tenderness that simply breathing threatens to interfere.  The beauty is almost unbearable and the gift of the moment overwhelming. 

What is that - Truth, Grace, Joy, God, a Glimpse of Eternity . . . all of these ?  Must we label such pure moments of Life? 

the courage of the partial

What could I have done?

What should I have done?

Why couldn’t I save him ?

I’m her mother . . . I’m supposed to fix things that go wrong . . . where did I fail?  

The litany of questions after losing a child is a recurring and relentless angst over how, as parents, we could lose this precious life we have been given to nurture and protect.  It is unthinkable.  And yet, it is impossible not to go into that abyss of questions and be battered about by the blame of it all.   In most cases, we know it doesn’t make any sense, but “sense” doesn’t impact the heart.   So we struggle to come to grips with questions that have no answers.

One idea that has helped me is the courage of the partial. 

In other words, knowing we do not have full control over any situation and knowing we aren’t knowledgeable enough to make the perfect decision every time . . . . still, we summon the courage to do our best in the moment.  That is all any of us can do.  Our love isn’t measured by whether we do the right thing . . . only that we do the most loving thing we can in the moment.  The rest of what happens is not up to us.  The courage of the partial is to have the strength and wisdom to act and speak without knowing what the ultimate outcome will be. . . . and perhaps, to accept that knowing the ultimate outcome isn’t even ours to know. 

Buddhist would say that there is no perfect place to reach, no final act that makes all the difference . . . there is only now and doing what is loving in this moment.  Judeo-Christians would say that God takes our efforts and makes them whole . . . sometimes in ways we cannot imagine, but there is trust in that Cosmic Goodness.

The courage of the partial is to let go of having full control or full understanding and resting in the loving moment we are given.  

trusting in the light

"Death is not extinguishing the light.  It is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."
                                                                       Tagore

              
                 Sometimes walking toward the light is all we can do.