grief is like this

We are in the midst of having work done on our house and it is requiring that we move all the furniture, take everything from off the walls and even empty some of the cabinets.  The confusing disarray of our lives is all consuming and reminds me of the way grief feels. 

Even though the furniture and the rooms are the same, nothing is familiar.  We try to go about our daily lives, but keep bumping into things that are out of place.  Doing the simplest everyday task is hard, because we are constantly looking for what we need.  Boxes fill the hallways spilling over with things we haven’t seen in years. 

Nothing is in its rightful place.

And yet, it seems like the perfect time to clean in all those hard to reach places.  So, I climb up on a ladder and reach behind furniture to scrub the spots we do not see everyday.  I empty cabinets so as to reorder their contents.  I throw away or give away all the things we no longer need or want.  There is a strange sense of freedom in that.    

When this is all done and everything is reassembled, we will have new floor to walk on and new paint to brighten each room.  Many things will be the same, but everything will feel different. 

Grief is like this . . . it changes our lives from top to bottom.  It creates disarray and confusion, but, at the same time, gives us the chance to reorder and renew. 

Much of our life will remain the same, but everything will feel different.