One of the cruelties
of losing a loved one to suicide is that their memory can become tarnished by
the tragic circumstances of how they died.
Even after years of healing, when someone asks me about our children and
then follows my response with, “Oh, I’m so sorry. How did he die?” Matt’s story clouds the air between us and
they stumble for what to say next. As a
society, we don’t yet know how to offer all the compassion we feel or someone
else needs.
So, when someone, instead,
celebrates and symbolizes the precious gift of Matt’s life . . . when someone
helps me wash away any stigma that darkens his memory . . . I am speechless
with gratitude.
My Healing Bracelet , custom made
for me by Healing Knots (www.healingknots.com) does that because it is a tribute to Matt’s
extraordinary presence and the blessing of his life.
My bracelet has 35 wooden beads for
each year he was with us. Then
interspersed throughout those are special reminders . . .. a green bead for his
love of nature (he was a wildlife biologist), a white bead for his expertise
and love for golf, a blue bead for the ocean where he spent hours fishing with
his dad and his friends, a red bead for the depth of his heart, a purple bead
for his love and compassion for his family and friends, a gold bead for the
pure gift he still is to me and a black bead to honor his intense struggle with
depression. Then, all of Matt’s beads
are woven together with blue elastic which reminds me of the Tenderness that
holds us both . . . together . . . forever.
What
could be more healing than wearing next to my skin, the story of his life? What a beautiful way to celebrate him for who
he truly was.
