Wednesday, December 24, 2014

a prayer for these days

Hope–filled Source of all that matters,
         Healing Presence,
                  Heart of the world,

We come again to this Advent time of waiting . . .  anticipating . . .  expecting
    knowing that the tenderness in us,
         sitting quietly beneath our busy-ness
                   is ready

and so we stop . . . not easily, perhaps, but now
         and now is enough

to allow what is Everlasting to be born . . . once again
         for the Light to escape from our generosity
         for the Hope to radiate from our courage
         for the Joy to shine into our shadows
         and for the Peace and Love that so quietly erases our anxiety
                  to reveal the very best our hearts have to give away

So by whatever name . . . whatever tradition . . .
         May we recognize that there flows a constant stream of tenderness
                  a stream that seems to have extinguished all petty desires
                           making us ready to be kind to each other
                                    with all the goodness that is in us.

By whatever name . . . whatever path . . .
         Open us wide enough to receive the gift that places us gently
                  on the other side of all our questions.     

                                                               Let is be so . . . oh, let is be so. 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

the heart connection

I have had the privilege of facilitating one of our support groups at My Healing Place for 6 years now and one of the ultimate gifts I am given by doing this is the people who come into our circle of caring immersed in the deepest sorrow of their lives . . . and watching as they slowly begin to heal from the wounds of their loss.  All of them are precious in my memory . . . people-gifts I’ve been given. 

One woman came after the death of her newborn baby.  This was her first pregnancy and her son was full term, 9 pounds,  but died unexpectedly during birth.  She was so utterly devastated by the loss of this child she had dreamed into being.  And I remember one of her greatest struggles was the thought that she didn’t belong in our group because she wasn’t a parent.  And yet, she came every single time. 

So, our group talked about that . . . what does it mean to be a parent and how does that change or not change if your child dies.  We decided that everything that parents do, we, who have lost a child, still do . . . we still love this child with all our heart, we still want their lives to be peaceful and safe and beautiful, we are filled with a million precious moments and each one is a gift we hold with gratitude and nothing . . . nothing could ever break the power of this connection we have with them.

This is a story about a bereaved mom, but I think it is a story that applies to the loss of anyone in our lives that we know is irreplaceable.   What is it about that relationship that will never change, that is still present to us and will be with us forever? 

I recently read a beautiful quote by Richard Rohr who says, “Life isn’t about being correct, it is about being connected.”   I would change that a little and say that grief isn’t about being correct, it is about honoring this heart connection we have been given.  

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Saturday, December 6, 2014

what healing looks like

She turned to me with her big brown eyes looking suddenly thoughtful and said with a slow smile, “I never thought about it that way.”    She looked away for a moment and then back at me and said again, “I never thought about it that way.”  . . . and her smile grew.

Her baby was only 5 weeks old when she died.  She never had been able to come home.  And in that moment, we simply shared that there is no set number of years that determine whether a life is whole.  If this little one inspired love from those around her; if she loved in return with her precious newborn eyes, then her life was whole – no matter how long it was.  She changed the lives around her in deeply loving ways. . . . and isn’t that what makes a life whole ?

I was witnessing healing at work in that moment.  Her words were the very evidence that suddenly she was seeing another way to live in her skin.  There was light emerging around the edges of the heaviness that she knew so well.  It was warm and hopeful . . . the way healing feels. 

And that is how it works . . . not dramatic, necessarily, or brilliantly insightful . . . but simple . . . as a new, never imagined perspective dawns.   And the opening in the heart widens a little more.  

It is creation happening before our eyes and it is beautiful.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

for such a time as this

for such a time as this
       when each moment stands out as irreplaceable
       when emotion can override our sense of the present to such an extent that we 
               feel suspended in mid air
       when tenderness is all that matters
              and kindness is our only obligation

for such a time as this
       Love breaks through our every barrier and
              reminds us that our reality 
              loud and sharp though it may be
              is held within The Reality of Love
              that is timeless
              and strangely

for such a time as this