broken or broken open

Writer, Mark Nepo, talks about the difference between being broken and being broken open.  There is an enormous gulf between the two and yet they are so closely related. 

When you lose a child, “broken” is a given . . . the unavoidable, sudden emptiness is crushing.  Much of the grief journey is then making our way through that darkness to seeing anew.  Some people talk about the journey as moving from only being able to see through the lens of loss, to noticing what is left, to discovering what is possible.  It is a journey that is much easier to talk about than to travel.  And like any journey, it has twists and turns, detours and obstructions along the way that must be navigated.  Sometimes we sit and rest in order to keep going; sometimes we get lost and need a guide to help us back on the path; sometimes we see the destination off in the distance but wonder if we have the energy to keep going.

Mary Oliver says, “Make of yourself a light”.  And maybe that is a better way to think of it.  Maybe not so much a journey that takes our energy to travel as allowing ourselves to "break open" .  Let the light which cannot be extinguished shine through. . .  that is, the love that is at the heart of your grief . . . let it penetrate everything and shine through your ragged edges.