Friday, May 11, 2012

making it through the hard days




Some days are simply harder than others.  The most obvious ones are “special days” like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays when families gather to celebrate.  They have the power to scare us with the intensity they add to the pain we carry.  

How can we help ourselves to make it through these days - especially the ones dedicated to the joy of being parents ?    

There are no set answers, really, only suggestions for ways to focus the energy of the heart.  First is the unavoidable truth.  Face that and name it.  Light a candle, put a picture of your beloved in a prominent place of honor, tell cherished stories. . . . do something, no matter how quietly and private, that says you remember.  Maybe it brings the deep tears, but it will help, because pretending just takes too much effort.

Then remember that in many ways you are still parenting your precious child.  You still love them with your whole heart and want their spirits to be safe and at peace. You still embrace them deep inside and carry their smiles wherever you go.  Those ways of being a mother or a father will never change.

You have been given an irreplaceable gift of love. 
Priceless. 
Precious. 

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