remembering is the bedrock of grief.

Remembering is the bedrock of grief. 

And yet, the common advice well meaning friends often offer is that we “need to move on” or “put this behind us”.   Those words are usually spoken by someone who is extremely uncomfortable with our sorrow and who needs for us to “get over this” so they can feel more at ease.  Grief is hard to watch.

Remembering is not only at the very heart of grief, but becomes particularly healing when we remember specifically.   I call these snapshot memories. 

So, take a few moments and bring to mind and heart . . . 

            what you loved about the way your child looked,

            what your child used to typically say that was precious,

            what you and your child enjoyed doing together,

            what made your child laugh,

            what your child taught you. . . .

When we give ourselves permission to remember this way, it is as if we carefully wrap these living experiences in our love and store them deeply in our hearts where they can be recalled over and over again. 

Healing our sadness slowly takes hold as we embrace the specific, unrepeatable gift we have been given.