what to do with their "things'

So,  let me help you get rid of all these things.    

            When are you going to put the crib away ?

                        Don’t you think it is time to redecorate this bedroom  ?

The “things” . . . the clothes, her room, the baby furniture, his golf clubs . . .

What to do with all the visible reminders of this irreplaceable life ?  

Is there a “right time”?   

Truly, this is one of the most difficult tasks for a parent whose child has died.  To erase any visible trace of a beloved child’s presence is unthinkable.  And that is perfectly normal. 

So, when family and friends try to help by suggesting that “it is time”, kindly let them know that your heart isn’t yet ready.  You will know when the time is right for you.

There is no rule about this, so don’t rush yourself. 

I knew one family who “practiced” by moving their little one’s toys from one part of the house to another.  It helped to see them in different places.  Eventually they were able to let certain things go, but never felt pressured about what to let go of, when or how.  They felt like this helped them to determine which of his things were the most precious to them. 

Another family repainted their baby’s room, but left one corner near the ceiling its original color and graced that corner with her name. 

Still others have lovingly taken the precious “things” and made quilts, memory boxes or chosen just the right time and place to give them to someone who needed them.  

There are no rules. 

Your heart will tell you when you can let go of some of the tangible reminders. 

And . . . eventually . . . you will be able to rest easy with the truth that the most precious reminders cannot be erased . . . ever.

They live forever in your deepest heart.