quiet bravery

Recently, our support group entertained two penetrating questions about fear. 

First, we asked,

             “What is it that we fear today, that we didn’t fear before our child died?” 

Some shared the fear of losing themselves in this intense sorrow (“Who am I going to be after this unfathomable pain I’m enduring?”).  Others were afraid of forgetting their child  in all their specific beauty, or afraid for the safety of their other children.  

The second question was,

            “What is it we no longer fear . . . now?”.

And there was one quick response - “I’m no longer afraid to die.” 

I’ve come to believe that these are both very important questions to try to answer with as much honesty as we can muster.  And when we do, they lead us to a place of quiet bravery.  

Mark Nepo says:

“Inner courage produces acts of outer courage.

We are being quietly brave when we open ourselves up

             to feel,

             to see what is before us,

             to accept,

             to break life-draining patterns and

             to cross the threshold from woundedness to aliveness and

                                                   from judgment to compassion.”